Well it’s here, a cross road in life again. The beacon is set and lit up red awaiting my attention. I know language is not my forte but please do excuse me when I’m unable to articulate well, especially in the grammar department.
So it was time for the half yearly appraisal and I’m presented with a fresh perspective of life and what to expect from hence forth. Where do I see myself and what do I see myself become? It is not a time for self pity but a time for reflection and thought. As a kid I always have dreams of being someone but I have never found myself to be resilient in what I do and always put out ideas but never been able to see them through. Things did change during my days in polytechnic and during a year in secondary school when my Maths teacher cried in front of my class. But I kind of loss this fighting spirit along the way and cheerful as I am I have eroded the very core of my being. I have lost something, someone or worse… myself.
So blame it on national service, 2 1/2 freaking years of mindless exercise and duties. It totally dulled my mind and I think I got really stupid in those 2 1/2 years. Stripped of my drive, where was the “I want to go OCS and become officer spirit”? Damn it what happened? Where did I mess up?
The stage is set for a recollection of ideas and of course the review of my life in the next few days. I just need to pray about it and spend time talking to the person who treasures me the most. I really need wisdom to carry on, I’m tired and need a break, I want to redo my room and be re-energized again.
Think a little, pray a lot and take a leap of faith.
